Saturday, March 15, 2008

Fake Interview Part 2

Note: I only spoke in English the entire time. Sometimes it helps if people don't know you can speak Chinese, so you can eavesdrop.

The girl in the business center couldn't believe it and started giggling. I was too nervous to really entertain her.

And so we went back upstairs to wait for me chance. Knowing it would be obvious if I kept walking by an open room every few minutes, my buddy decided to scout for me. I stood in the corridor, shifting uncomfortably, while my buddy would walk by the room and take a peek. A few times he opened the door to our room and went inside in order to keep cover. Forty minutes later, the girl being interviewed exited the room. Taking a deep breath, I walked into the room.

"Hi." I handed a bewildered man in his early-to-mid 30s my resume. After which point I shook his hand.

"Uh?"

"Yeah I'm here to interview today, funny story, but I made it."

"Uhm hello,uhm yes, do you know who you are interviewing for?"

"Of course, Company X. Why else would I even be here?"

"What function?"

"Sales and Marketing."

"Oh I see. Uh, Uhm, why don't you go to room 670, down the hall, where Human Resources is arranging everything. I only do engineering."

"Thanks."

I left and walked down the hall. I knocked on the door, and a woman came out.

"Yes?" She looked surprised.

"I'm here for the interview. I believe headquarters back in the U.S. should have informed you."

"Excuse me?"

"Well you see I had received an offer for an interview in the United States for Sales and Marketing, but as this trip to China was a gift for me, I told them I was unable to attend and why. People are headquarters were very reasonable and asked for my itinerary, and when they found out I would be in Xi'an on this day, they told me to come to this hotel and that the necessary arrangements would be made for my interview, really just a fit interview is what they said, rather than technical." (I repeated the first half of this story to pretty much every applicant).

"Oh... Yes. I see. Please wait for one minute." She went back in the room, leaving the door open. I could see her with two of her HR colleagues discussing the situation as they shot me glances. Being more than happy to play dumb foreigner, I just smiled. "Please come inside and sit down. What would you like to drink?"

I couldn't believe it. "Erm, yes, water will be fine, Miss, thank you very much."

The two other HR types came over and asked me the same questions. I restated my story while making sure to use plenty of hand gestures and big words. Everyone likes big words.
Sitting near me were a bunch of other local students, some cute girls, geeky guys, and I got to speak to all of them. The girls, in typical Chinese style, kind of giggled and were shy, but opened up as I talked to them. There were some pretty priceless quotes from the guys though.

"You are interviewing with us?! I see and hear you talking to them, I think you are big boss of Company X, maybe head of all of China! Or I think you will be my boss in the future!"

"So what's your talent, you have to impress them, blow them away. What's your talent?"
Suffice it to say, this kid was just annoying. So I decided to play around with him.

"Well I can sing and dance." I smirked.

"Ok," He didn't seem to know how to handle that answer. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, I tell great stories." Silence.

A few minutes passed and the students left the room little by little. Soon it was just me and one HR woman.

"The General Manager of the Xi'an branch will be speaking with you soon," she said.